Mowing the lawn in bed

As I very briefly mentioned in my post yesterday, Saturday night I got very little sleep. Like, maybe topping off at 4 hours. Why, you ask?

Because some women snore like lumberjacks.

One of the girls in my unit snores. And it’s not a breathing-a-little-heavier-sometimes kind of snoring. It’s like a lawn mower going off in the bed across from me.

Friday night I was able to fall asleep before she started and missed most of it. Saturday night, however, I was not so lucky. She fell asleep around 9pm and had already started. Luckily, she was somewhat quite. But by 10pm, when the lights went out and everyone else went to bed, she was on a roll.

I tried everything. I put in my headphones and listened to my iPod (at an ear-splitting volume). I tried to ignore it. I played solitaire until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any more. But I STILL couldn’t sleep or drown out the lawn mower across from me.

Now, if you know me or have spent any good amount of time with me, you’ll know that I love my sleep. I’m not one of those people who believes in sleeping when you’re dead. I fully appreciate my 8 hours and get pretty pissy if they’re interrupted for no good reason.

So by 11:30pm, all I could think of were different ways of suffocating or strangling this girl.

Now, I know what everyone is thinking. Many people who snore can’t help it. They don’t do it on purpose. This girl has tried a whole bunch of different things to stop snoring. So, yes, I know. It’s not her fault and she’s not doing it to mess with me personally.

But at 11:30 at night, when I should be sound asleep, that doesn’t really matter. And I was not the only one who couldn’t get any sleep.

At midnight, she had increased in volume to where my iPod was blowing out my ears and I could STILL hear her. So I got up, walked over to her bed, and hit the bed frame really hard. No, I didn’t hit her (because I kept telling myself she couldn’t help it).

And she stopped. For a minute. Max.

And because it was a wide open bay of beds, even moving to the opposite side wasn’t going to work. Remember the photo of the horror movie showers from yesterday? I actually contemplated sleeping on the wooden bench in order to get some sleep. I thought about sleeping outside. I thought about sleeping on top of my truck.

By 1:30am, my body was tired enough that I fell asleep for about an hour. I woke up at 2:30am with her still sawing a giant pile of logs. Loudly.

So I switched to the white noise machine on my phone, again at a ridiculously loud volume. By 3:30am, I fell asleep. I woke up at 5:30 and checked to see how loud she was. And it was silent. It was amazing. So I took out my headphones and got another half hour of sleep until the lights were turned on at 6am. I could have killed someone.

My friend who was sleeping next to her looked as bad as I did. She also got like, 2 or 3 hours of sleep. And I had to drive more than 4 total hours the next day. Coffee was my friend.

I fully believe that, if someone is snoring, you have a right and a duty to hit them until they stop and/or wake up. It doesn’t matter if they get mad or complain about getting no sleep, because they’re the only ones getting any sleep in the first place. And this is exactly what will happen if she snores during our 2 week annual training. I will wake her up every single time she starts to snore. Just so she can be as sleep deprived as me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: